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In a Pickle/Transcript
This article is a transcript of the Weird World: The TV Show episode "In a Pickle" from season one, which aired on October 4, 2019. *(the episode starts with George recording himself on his phone in the house and is about to go outside) *George Jacqueline: 8:42am. I just had breakfast and I'm about to go outside. *(George walks outside) *George Jacqueline: A beautiful day, no clouds in the sky, peace and quiet. Seems like a normal day. *(Craig can be heard grunting off-screen) *George Jacqueline: At least it was for a few minutes. *(George turns off his phone, puts it in his pocket and walks down the rainbow steps on to the beach and sees Craig trying to open a pickle jar) *George Jacqueline: Craig, what are you doing? *Craig: I'm trying to open this pickle jar. But this lid is hard to pull off. *George Jacqueline: Did you try unscrewing it? The universe has a word called "logic", you know. *Craig: I tried unscrewing it, but it's really stuck and it's very strong, considering it's made from titanium. And I can't smash the jar, because it's made with super tough glass. *(Craig struggles to open it again) *George Jacqueline: Hang on, why are you "trying" to open it outside? *Craig: (thinks) I don't know. *(Craig tries to open the jar again, then a crack is heard and it turns out the back of Craig's shell was cracked) *George Jacqueline: Yeah, we're gonna have to try something better than that. Come on, let's find Stephanie. She must have some good ideas. *Craig: OK. Should we skip to the theme tune, first? *George Jacqueline: Craig, how many times have we broken the fourth wall? *Craig: A butt load of times since the start. *George Jacqueline: I'll say about 1,000. Anyway, let's just cut to the theme tune. Oh, look I did it again. Make that 1,001. *(cut to theme song) *(cut to George and Craig in Lambert driving around the city) *Craig: Where did Stephanie say she was at? *George Jacqueline: I think she said she went to hang out with her friends. We'll find her. *(George drives past some buildings, over a bridge, past the docks and one of the back wheels hits a puddle of steaming water, then it starts to shake and grow eyes, but then George runs Lambert over a nail and the eyes disappear and the tire deflates, causing Lambert to stop) *George Jacqueline: Oh, great. We've got a puncture. Thankfully, I have a spare wheel in the boot, but it'll take us ages to get to... *(They are outside Steve Sigafoos' Fixing Place You Call a Garage; Steve Sigafoos steps out) *Steve Sigafoos: Ahh, George. I'll have that new wheel on for you in no time... in actuality, a few minutes. *George Jacqueline: OK. *(a timecard reads "A Few Minutes Later...") *(Steve Sigafoos has finished putting the new wheel on Lambert) *Steve Sigafoos: There, good as new. *George and Craig: Thanks, Steve! *(George and Craig drive off) *Steve Sigafoos: So long, boys. Come again any time. *George Jacqueline: OK. Now, back to looking for Stephanie. *(George and Craig past Stephanie, who is leaning against a wall and looking at her phone, with her earphones on listening to music) *Craig: Erm, George... who's that white girl with the colourful hair we just passed? *George Jacqueline: Stephanie. Who else? *(George breaks quickly, bumps a car out a reserved parking space and stops in that space) *George Jacqueline: Come on, Craig! *(George and Craig get out Lambert and run towards Stephanie) *George and Craig: Hey, Steph. *(Stephanie isn't listening and keeps looking at phone) *(George taps Stephanie) *George Jacqueline: Steph! *(Stephanie takes out one of her earphones) *Stephanie: What? Oh, hey guys. *George Jacqueline: Aren't you hanging out with your friends? *Stephanie: Oh, like, their all busy today, so I'm just chilling. *Craig: Listen, we need some help. *Stephanie: OK, what do you guys need? *George Jacqueline: You to help open this pickle jar. (holds up the jar) We can't do it ourselves. *Stephanie: One second. *(Stephanie is typing something on her phone) *George Jacqueline: What are you doing, Steph? *Stephanie: I'm just, erm... sending a text. *(George receives Stephanie's text and it reads "Come back and talk to me when your I.Q. exceeds your age") *George Jacqueline: (reads) "Come back and talk to me when your I.Q. exceeds your a... Are you for real?! *Stephanie: ARE YOU trying to me look stupid? I was gonna burst out laughing, but expressions on my face aren't enough to show how annoyed I get at times. *George Jacqueline: Steph, listen. This pickle jar really won't open. Craig said the lid is stuck on tight. *Stephanie: Did you try unscrewing it? The universe has a word called "logic", you know. *George Jacqueline: Wait, didn't I just... Never mind. *Craig: I tried unscrewing it several times, but it's stuck like chuck and it's made from titanium, so I can't break it. *Stephanie: What about smashing it? *Craig: Glass is super tough. *Stephanie: Maybe, you're not doing it right. I didn't want to have to do this, but we're gonna have to try some pretty dangerous methods to open it. Methods part of a 16-stage process. *George Jacqueline: 16? Why that number specifically? *Stephanie: Like, that was the age I started my training on Earth. *George and Craig: Oh. *Stephanie: OK, let's go back to the beach and we'll start. *(George, Stephanie and Craig get in Lambert and drive off) *(cut to the beach where Stephanie's holding an axe and the pickle jar is on the sand) *Stephanie: OK, for stage 1, we're gonna cut the jar with this axe. You two might wanna, like, step back. *(George steps back, but Craig doesn't move) *Stephanie: Craig, I said "step back". *Craig: No legs. *Stephanie: *Sighs* Bounce back. *(Craig bounces back) *Stephanie: Observe. Top! *(Stephanie hits the top of the jar, but fails to cut it) *Stephanie: Bottom! *(Stephanie throws the jar in the air, leaps and hits the bottom of the jar, but fails to cut it) *Stephanie: Side! *(Stephanie hits the jar from the side, but again, fails to cut it) *Stephanie: OK. Looks like it's on to stage 2 - hit it... (seemingly summons her spear, but it turns out to be a golf club) ... with a golf club. *(Stephanie takes aim and is about to hit the jar) *Stephanie: Fore! *Craig: I thought this was stage 2. *Stephanie: Craig, shut up. *(Stephanie swings the golf club and hits the jar and it smashes into her bedroom window) *Stephanie: Hole in one! *Craig: Steph, that's more than a hole. *Stephanie: Oh, chill. It can be mended. Let's see if the jar smashed. *(George, Stephanie and Craig enter Stephanie's bedroom and see the jar on the floor, still in one piece) *Stephanie: Damn it. *(cut back to the beach and Stephanie is struggling with a giant hammer) *Stephanie: *Groans* Guys, a little help. *George Jacqueline: I got you, Steph. *(George holds onto the hammer too and Craig grabs onto it, but hangs onto it) *Stephanie: For *Groans* stage 3, we're gonna smash the jar with this giant hammer. *George Jacqueline: *Groans* OK. Hold tight, Craig! *Craig: What? *(All three lift the hammer and smash it onto the jar, then they all fall back and George lands on Craig) *Stephanie: Ahh. George, are you OK? *George Jacqueline: I'm fine. I landed on Craig. *Craig: *Muffled* George, is it night time already? Because, I can't see anything but darkness. *Stephanie: One thing I can't see is the jar. *George Jacqueline: Wait... it's buried in the sand. Hopefully opened up? *(George pulls the pickle jar form out of the sand, still in one piece) *Stephanie: Oh, come on! *(cut to George, Stephanie and Craig hiding behind the house and Stephanie has an AK-47 in front of her) *Stephanie: Alright, for stage 4, we're gonna, like, shoot it with an AK-47. *Craig: Erm, Steph... I think we need 46 more. You've got one, but we need 47. *Stephanie: Craig, what are you talking about? *Craig: It's called an AK-47, man. You have one, so we need 46 more. *Stephanie: Craig, the 47 means 1947, the year it was first made. Whatever, let's open fire. *(Stephanie takes aim and shoots multiple bullets at the jar, which bounce back and head towards her, George and Craig and they duck) *Craig: Woah! *George Jacqueline: Probably shouldn't have used too many bullets. *Stephanie: Maybe not. Let's see if it... *(they look at the jar and it's still in one piece and Stephanie puts her hands on her face and sighs) *(cut to George in Lambert and the jar is in front of him) *George Jacqueline: Steph, what do we need Lambert for? *Stephanie: Stage 5 - running over the jar with a car. *George Jacqueline: Oi! No one rhymes, but me! *Stephanie: Like, whatever. Now, go on, let 'er rip! *(George accelerates Lambert and runs over the pickle jar, but tips over and lands upside down) *Stephanie: George, are you alright? *(George crawls out out of the door) *George Jacqueline: Yeah, I'm alright. No injuries or anything. And no opened or broken jar either. Seriously, that thing is strong as heck! Stage 6? *Stephanie: Stage 6. *(cut to George and Stephanie standing in front of the washing machine, George is staring at it and Stephanie is just checking her phone) *Stephanie: *Sighs* (texts to someone "I don't wanna know") *George Jacqueline: Steph, we've been standing here for half an hour. What's stage 6? *Stephanie: Spinning the pickle jar in the washing machine and hopefully it will shatter. *George Jacqueline: OK, I get that. But I don't get why you put soap in it. *Stephanie: I thought it would make spin smoother. *George Jacqueline: I really don't buy that. *Bash: Oi! Can you guys shut up? *(Bash is showering in the kitchen sink) *Bash: I'm taking a shower here! *George Jacqueline: In the kitchen sink? *Bash: Yeah, because the bath is too big for me. *George Jacqueline: *Sighs* Bash... there's a sink in the bathroom next to the bath. *Bash: Oh. *(the washing machine stops) *George Jacqueline: It's done! Let's see if it smashed. Wait... where's Craig? He was here half an hour ag... *(the washing machine door opens and Craig pokes his head out) *George and Stephanie: Craig! You alright? *Craig: Ye... (chokes and spits out the pickle jar, which is still in one piece) *Stephanie: Did you swallow the jar, Craig? *Craig: Well, nearly. I put it in my mouth to stop it from smashing and getting pickle juice all over the laundry. *(Stephanie covers her hands with her face) *Stephanie: That's exactly what the hell we're doing... you brainless... *Sighs* *George Jacqueline: Steph, calm down. Wait... Craig, how come your eye's not burning? There was soap in the machine. *(Craig pulls out a red bra from behind his back) *Craig: Oh, I covered it with this red one-eyed goggle. *Stephanie: Err... dude? That's my bra. *(Craig lets go of the bra, gets some butter and rubs it on his hand and sucks on it) *Stephanie: Uh-uh. No comment. Next. (walks off) *(cut to Stephanie putting the pickle jar inside the microwave) *George Jacqueline: Erm... Stephanie, why is the jar inside the microwave? *Stephanie: Well, as it's apparent, you can melt glass using a microwave and that's exactly what we're gonna try and do for stage 7. *(Stephanie uses a blowtorch to light the jar, then closes the microwave, sets it for 20 minutes and turns it on) *Stephanie: Now, we wait. *(George, Stephanie and Craig sit down on the sofa and Stephanie checks her phone, then they all do the following - look at the newspaper, take a selfie, play snakes and ladders and fall asleep, until the microwave beeps and wakes them all with shock) *Stephanie: *Yawns* What happened? *Craig: Pickles... *All: The jar! *(Stephanie takes the jar out of the microwave and there's still no effect) *Craig: Really? *George Jacqueline: Come on! *Stephanie: This thing is hella strong! On to stage 8. *(cut to George, Stephanie and Craig above Rainbow City standing in a helicopter) *George Jacqueline: Err, Steph? Why are we in a helicopter?! *Stephanie: Because for stage 8, we're gonna drop the jar on a hard surface from a helicopter way above the city! *George Jacqueline: Quite dangerous, ain't it? *Stephanie: Each method gets more dangerous one by one! *(the pilot does a thumbs-up) *Stephanie: OK, here we go! *(Stephanie picks up the jar and drops it and it falls to the city and a smash can be heard) *Stephanie: *Gasps* Guys, I think it worked. Let's go down and have a look! *(the helicopter lowers down, and George, Stephanie and Craig run to the jar excited, but the jar is still in one piece and their excitment dies down) *George, Stephanie and Craig: Oh, come on! *Craig: Hey, if the jar landed to the ground in one piece, then what was making that smashing sound? *(they see the Bank Robbers trying to break into their house and another window is smashed) *Bank Robber 1: Oh, wait... this isn't our house. *Bank Robber 2: W-we're a little blind, so we can't see things probably. We best be going now. *(The Bank Robbers whistle and start to walk away, when Green Leopard comes out the house, roars and chases the Bank Robbers off) *Stephanie: Woah. *Craig: Nice. *George Jacqueline: Go, get 'em, Green Leopard! Now, what about the jar? Stage 9? *Stephanie: Yep, it can. *(cut to George, Stephanie and Craig at the Woood Logging Site standing in front of Woood Chippa) *Stephanie: OK, for stage 9, we're gonna try and destroy the jar in a wood chipper. I'll just... *(Stephanie slowly puts the jar in Woood Chippa and he jiggles about, then he shoots the pickle jar out quicklly and it hits Stephanie's eye) *Stephanie: Ahh! *George Jacqueline: Steph, you OK? *Stephanie: Dude, that thing flew into my eye. *George Jacqueline: Craig, get... *(Craig is beating up Woood Chippa with his laser gun, but Woood Chippa chips it) *Craig: Of course. *George Jacqueline: OK, Steph... (gets a Pepsi Blue can) ...put this Pepsi Blue can on your eye. *(Stephanie puts the can on her eye) *Stephanie: Ahh. *Sighs* Thanks, George. I think we need a break. *(cut to the steaming puddle of water from earlier and a fly lands on it and it's eyes go red, but gets stepped on by Jeremiah, who's jogging) *Jeremiah: Huh? Hmm. (continues to jog) *(cut to George, Stephanie and Craig at the ice cream parlour) *George Jacqueline: (drinks some squash) Category:Transcripts Category:Weird World: The TV Show Season 1 transcripts Category:Weird World Category:Pages by The Golden Cubit